sad songs

Part I - The paradox of Andrew

you probably can't tell from my blog, but generally speaking, i'm an easy-going, good-natured, happy guy. in some respects, i think its a paternal trait. last summer, for instance, my dad and i were putzing around the crescent bar harbor in our 19-foot sea ray (20 yrs old and still without a name) and we suddenly heard a muffled grinding sound.

'what's that?' i asked.
'the prop...' he said as he quickly maneuvered us further from shore.
'rocks?'
'yep.'
'that sucks.'
'yep.'

and that was that. hmmm...apparently i'm no master of dialogue; that makes him seem quiet but not necessarily happy. try this:

'what's that?' i asked.
'the prop...'
'rocks?'
'yep.' he frowned and then, chuckling, continued 'again.' (we have an expensive proclivity for busting props)
'that sucks.'
'yep'

after determining that the boat was still afloat, we returned to matters of the mundane and thought little of the crippled fish beneath our feet. hours later, after burgers and games, one of us mentioned to a surprised gaggle of girls that the ship was down for the count. in any case, its quite nice to have inherited this cheerful peace of mind. but occasionally it can frustrate others, like when i respond to tales of flat tires, broken broaches, or irritating encouters with the bossman by citing all the horrible circumstances that they avoided. 'just think,' i say, 'at least you have a job. and you get to wear sandals to work! mari tells me that kids in zimbabwe are so hungry they'd eat those sandals...' and that usually doesn't go over well.

soooo...perhaps as a means of compensating for this over enthusiastic optimism i find myself attracted to art that is better characterized by sadness, sufferring, or pain than banal pop, perky love songs, or christmas music with delilah. and there you have it, the paradox of andrew. [EDIT: this last paragraph deserves a lot more depth, oh well. also, i would be remiss if i did not acknowledge beth the s.o. and my officemates at the VA -- Darcy and Rebecca especially -- for their work in bringing this paradox to light]

Part II - fun activity

from a more objective perspective, i think sad songs are particularly powerful. as elton john says 'sad songs say so much.' so, recently i've been incredibly happy about this really sad song by death cab for cutie: "What Sarah Said" (ps - this link is for lyrics, i'd encourage you to first listen to the song before reading the lyrics, but whatever). in fact, i've been so excited about this song, which i've dubbed the saddest song ever, that i've been forcing others to endure it. now that you've heard my saddest song ever, whats yours?

andrew: 'what sarah said'
darcy: some classical song written by holocaust victims (sounds quite sad to me)
[ADD:]
mark -- puff the magic dragon (see comments)
beth -- center aisle (caedmon's call)
you -- ?????????????

the first essence [3]

Here is the first poem from my unpublished anthology Poems Written in Brady's UCORE Notes at 3AMish ca 2001:

Happiness Ceased
There are times when one might see nights
Days when sunshine takes flight like kites

..........oobleygoo

..........snocketyzoo

......................these marches on stale grounds
......................embark the dogs and mighty hounds

.................................like steps
...........................................like stairs
.........................................................up & down
...........................................from terrible heights

(its hard to know where to start a discussion with this poem. while it lacks the quick gut punch of the previous poems, i'm sure you'll agree that its a poem that sticks with you; like frosting stains from your wedding anniversary cake, it somehow evokes that strange yet lasting combination of frown and smile. such odd bosom buddies. now, in order to reduce the overwhelming amounts of fan mail that i anticipate from the unfurling of this masterpiece, let me answer a few questions right off the bat. first, i'm sure that many of you are wondering about the possible influence of george herbert on this poem. indeed, at the time of this poem i'd been studying herbert's use of carmina figurata and somehow fell under its hypnotic spell. second, while many readers may identify that lines 3 and 4 poke fun at Milton's mistranslation of Virgil, there are no direct quotes from either writer. and third, yes, i am still a bit upset that ben gibbard of the postal service failed to acknowledge me in his liner notes for the inspiration for his title track.)

For more information concerning this poetry, please refer to my post entitled 'the first essence [1]' or other poems from this anthology: Command.

Merry (2 days after) Christmas!

nonsense [4]

...continuation of nonsense 1 (a working link this time), 2, and 3...

tonight i hoped to conclude this thread. unfortunately, upon opening my draft of 'nonsense 4' i found the following nonsense; can anyone tell me what i was thinking?

"however, while the occassionally journal-like nature of the 17 point scale makes this blog an ideal space for incriminating introspection, i think its time to mount a defense. me, we he to writing let's you avoid the tougher task...these questions may inspire little laughs, dismissive grunts, or pensive pursing of lips. some writers (like r-o-"lekkerman"-b) argue that "deliberate ambiguity," the delicate layering of multiple meanings, is one of the cornerstones of great literature. simimar. fone noises that stretch a sentence out indefinitely because may strike you as absurdly path."

here's my take:

i think i wanted to say something like this: art is like that crucial last scene in the latest jk rowling film, harry potter and the goblet of fire, where harry casts an 'awakening conscience' spell on the evil voldemort and, instead of killing harry, the dark lord voluntarily serves time at azkaban until, at the end of harry's 4th year, the reformed dead-head is paroled under the care of dumbledore and the headmaster's latest non-profit collaboration, a well-funded attempt to end world poverty and teach muggles to play quidditch. put more simply, art is a medium of change; with a wink of something that defies characterization, it seeks to transform. like harry's edge-of-your seat incantation, it is an ancient magic that they don't teach at hogwarts; it comes from within. excepting prayer, this transforming power of art may be the closest we humans get to the divine. yet, art is preposterous. it has no life of its own; it merely reflects life. like travel fiction (and my harry potter recap) it is a bizarre mix of fact and fiction. and, in our seemingly postmodern world, the difference between fact and fiction is becoming more a matter of perspective than a clear blueprint of truth. however, in some sense, this lack of clarity is not entirely new to the arts, especially literature. in fact, some writers (like r-o-"lekkerman"-b) argue that "deliberate ambiguity," the delicate layering of multiple meanings, is (and has been for some time) one of the cornerstones of great literature. returning to the conclusion of harry potter and the goblet of fire, as the main characters compete in the tri-wiz tourney, they wind their way through a hungry green maze. now, if hp&tgof were somehow situated in the context of an overarching metaphor of maze-builders and rats, we might consider the two-pronged interpretation of these events (mazebuilders/rats metaphor and the surface drama of main characters and their scary, near-death navigation of the maze) as ambigiguous in a 'good' way. likewise, (here comes my point) if you approach my original questions with an understanding that great writers tend to anticipate multiple meanings and responses to their work, you may find the use of multiple questions considerably less hypocritical. you see, the repetive sequencing of such silly-serious questions may inspire little laughs, dismissive grunts, or pensive pursing of lips, and this multiplicity of responses must mean that they're grrrreat questions!

ha! now can anyone tell me what i was thinking the second time around?! i hope to explore ambiguity in literature more coherently in an upcoming review of gk chesterton's the man who was thursday. by the way, what's the deal with the GOBLET? According to both dictionary.com and andrew's general sense of words, GOBLET is a device used for drinking not a magical burping trash can. do these silly sorcerors think that just because they can break the laws of physics they are also granted the right to misuse our lexicon? maybe its a brit thing.

christmas list

1. ipod video (30gig)
2. if ipod acquired, a bose sound system for the ipod
3. if ipod acquired, a jogging ipod holder thing-ma-bob
4. a reading lamp of some kind (i can't reach the light switch in my room)
5. travel things: tickets to belize, jamaica, chile, czech republic, or new zealand
6. ding dongs
7. light yet durable camera tripod
8. d70 remote
9. d70 zoom lens, a good one, at least $200, preferably $312+
10. really warm coat, perhaps puffy
11. seahawks season tickets
12. a suit jacket (beth says i need one)
13. piano sheet music (ben folds five: the unauthorized biography of reinhold messner; ben folds: (a single song) philosophy; soundtrack to amelie)
14. elements of style
15. a peanut brittle castle
16. seahawks superbowl tickets
17. ipod video (60 gig)

photos from the enchantments [3, final]

A Study in All the Other Stuff (e.g. not water & not light)
check out photos from the enchantments 1 and photos from the enchantments 2

i usually try and avoid picturing two days straight of pictures, but i have to find at least one printing candidate beforethese pictures are from my latest annual backpacking trip with steve. you know the drill. i'm lookin' for photography advice. that is, let me know how i could have improved these fotoes AND whether any of them appear print-worthy (an * means that i'm considering them) AND any other thoughts regarding the pictures or my time in the enchantments.

123
456
78
1. Andrew David 'Land Encroaches on Sky' somewhere in the enchantments -- way too dark.
*2. Andrew David 'Fire Trees' somewhere in the enchantments -- i love these trees, especially in contrast to the dark mtn
3. Andrew David 'Lone Puff I' somewhere in the enchantments -- which of these is best? are any worthy of printing?
4. Andrew David 'Lone Puff II' somewhere in the enchantments -- which of these is best? are any worthy of printing?
5. Andrew David 'Lone Puff III' somewhere in the enchantments -- which of these is best? are any worthy of printing?
6. Andrew David 'Icy Crick' Aasgard Pass --
7. Andrew David 'Guardian of the Enchantments' somewhere in the enchantments -- imagine this after photoshopped and then react.
8. Andrew David 'When You're Thirsty or Bored' Lake Stuart--
9. Andrew David 'Brustled Clearing' Lake Stuartish --
10. Andrew David 'Cotton Lake Stuartish --

photos from the enchantments [2]

A Study in Water
these pictures are from my latest annual backpacking trip with steve. you know the drill. i'm lookin' for photography advice. that is, let me know how i could have improved these fotoes AND whether any of them appear print-worthy (an * means that i'm considering them) AND any other thoughts regarding the pictures or my time in the enchantments.

1234
5678
91011
1. Andrew David 'Losing daylight' somewhere in the enchantments -- the shade ruined any hope for this picture
*2. Andrew David 'Stepping Stones' somewhere in the enchantments -- i considered cropping some more sky, but this seemed the best fit
3. Andrew David 'Africa' somewhere in the enchantments -- again, shade. but do you see africa?
*4. Andrew David 'Quiet' Lake Solitude -- if only there were a bit more colour in those distant trees.
5. Andrew David 'Ice' nearby Lake Solitude -- as the bear sat his weary rump on the ice, he complained that 'my friend's out there rolling 'round the basement floor, and someone saved my life tonight, sugarbear.' sugarbear said nothing.
6. Andrew David 'Proof from Sum' Colchuck Lake --
7. Andrew David 'Proof from Summit' Colchuck Lake --
8. Andrew David 'On Little Galilee' Colchuck Lake's little buddy lake -- i like steve.
9. Andrew David 'Colder from Above' Colchuck Lake --
10. Andrew David 'Typical Lake Shot' Lake Stuart --
11. Steven Van Selus 'Playing with Weeds' Lake Stuart -- i like red shirts.

the gossip

and now, the long awaited debut of the 17 point scale's first ever gossip column...

Its official, Brad and Jen are separated!

and unfortunately, i'm a guy, so i'm not really sure what else a gossip column like this is supposed to say. i suggest asking brad for more information. if you have suggestions for future ideas concerning gossip columns, i'd be happy to ignore them...

nonsense [3]

nonsense 1 & 2 continued...

beware, late night blogging can turn one into a bit of a hypocrite. take the questions that i posed in nonsense 1 as a bright blue example. objectively, these questions share at least two common characteristics. first, bound by the writer's appropriately apparent allegiance to his thesis, the questions have explicit thematic links; each ponders a metaphysical quandry concerning the nature of self (MEtaphysical). secondly, as questions, each of the three utilizes that curly-que punctuation piece known as the question mark. (well, duh, andrew.) it is this second similarity that should drive me bonkers.

you see, during my senior year at SPU i served as the unofficial campus advocate for the annihilation of question marks. of course, i'm not entirely serious; i never joined a punctuation club or made vituperative speeches at language rallies. but conversely, i was much more vocal about my agenda than merely crouching in some dark dorm room corner repeatededly chanting 'question marks are bad.' indeed, as a writing center tutor, i spread my message using a grass roots approach. in the fertile (and occassionally sullen) minds of my fellow students i explained that question marks should be used sparingly, if ever. 'they cheapen your prose,' i warned, 'discerning readers (such as your teachers) will recognize that you're using a question and answer approach because you lack the creative moxy to develop the thought yourself.'

and i wasn't kidding. yes, good writers use question marks. but at the first sign of that strangely stylized punctuation mark, my spidey senses tingle. it stops me in my tracks. alright, here's a real life example. back in 2001 i visited liverpool, the birthplace of the beatles (what a crazy bunch of mopheads; my itunes random playlist just dished out that lost oldie everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey). as joel and i ambled in the general direction of our hostel, he suddenly darted off-course, set down his pack, and fished out his camera. his sudden enthusiasm seemed odd: the street block was dirty, a bit run-down, and all-in-all rather ordinary. in explanation, he laughed something mildly unintelligble and then started snapping pictures. looking up, i saw the following message posted one letter at a time in the 6th floor windows of a dilpidated warehouse: t-h-i-s--b-u-i-l-d-i-n-g--i-s--a-n--e-y-e-s-o-r-e (for a picture, come visit my scrapbook and i). by replacing the 'building' with 'sentence' you should have a clear sense of my feeling regarding question marks....

sooo...where does that leave us? perhaps we should add hypocrisy to the confidence and verbosity that sean attributed to the internet andrew. but first, i must take a break.

to be continued...

nonsense [2]

nonsense continued...


Andrew David 'An Endophenotyper from the University of Washington' Seattle -- this obviously isn't a particulary lovely picture. it isn't even a good likeness of sean. still, it might be easier to place his comments in context if you can see him eating.

this post is in progress and will be updated later tonight...in the meantime, i do not recommend that you click this link

unfortunately, in typical 17 point scale fashion, i will be unable to finish this post today. and despite the resulting lack of reading material on THIS blog, i still don't recommend clicking this link.

nonsense [1]

several weeks ago an endophenotyper from the university of washington off-handedly remarked on the rambling nature of my blog. he then explained that my entries tend to exude better diction and more confidence than my everday speech. more recently, a research subject accused me of having a 'big voice.' after several phone conversations, he was quite surprised to see a lanky andrew behind the phone instead of some bulky nfl lineman (apparently yesterday's all-time personal record of 137.5 pounds didn't strike him as particularly large). all this leads me to several thoughts that have been repeated elsewhere ad nauseum, but let me add my voice to the fray: am I really many different MEs? is technology responsible for some sort of multiplicity effect whereby the telephone me, internet me, and talking me fail to match up? and whats more real, my impression of who i am or how others perceive me?

Photos from the Enchantments [1]

A Study in Sunlight
these pictures are from my latest annual backpacking trip with steve. you know the drill. i'm lookin' for photography advice. that is, let me know how i could have improved these fotoes AND whether any of them appear print-worthy (an * means that i'm considering them) AND any other thoughts regarding the pictures or my time in the enchantments.

123
456
78910
*1. Andrew David 'Moses and the Bush' Aarsgard Pass?--
2. Andrew David 'Trees!' Aarsgard Pass?--
3. Andrew David 'The Thinker and the Hippotamus' Colchuck Lake's little buddy lake--
4. Andrew David 'Tracks Colchuck Lake's little buddy lake --
5. Andrew David 'A Lake' Lake Stuart--
6. Andrew David 'Halo'd' Lake Stuart--
7. Andrew David 'Who's Under There?' Lake Stuart -- i like this photo more than i should. something about the colours...
8. Andrew David 'Log' Lake Stuart-- don't know why i posted this one.
9. Andrew David 'Brustled Clearing' Lake Stuartish --
10. Andrew David 'Cotton Lake Stuartish --

SEPT 6 - DEC 6 MOVIES

1. good night and good luck
2. jarhead
3. batman
4. the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe
5. walk the line
6. harry potter and the whatever comes next (at the imax)
7. wallace and gromit: the curse of the w rabbit
8. the corpse bride
9. elizabeth town
10. the legend of zorro

or something like that. as time goes by i hope to revise and comment on this list...

Andrew David "Sheep" Greenlake (Seattle) -- check out the fine print

africa [1] and/or halloweeen

while not officially recognized by the UN, the continent of africa operates a small satellite in the greenwood area of seattle. for whatever reason, you won't find this northern outpost on many maps. nonetheless, the daily heapings of sadsa, funky drum beats, and celebration of everything african should make it relatively easy to find. at one time, this african enclave (in the person of mari) even crafted a beacon in order to attract fellow (in some sense) africans (these days, however, the most visible landmark is apparently a big tree, but nevermind that):
12
1. Andrew David 'Inspiration' Seattle --
2. Andrew David 'The dark continent' Seattle -- as seen in #1, this is actually a picture of a pumpkin sculpture by mari. i arrived at this title at 1am (after many Markian distractions kept me from my all-important task of posting these pictures) because of joseph conrad's 'heart of darkness.' i'm pretty certain that somewhere in that little book he uses that phrase; however, i just can't seem to remember if he's talking about africa or south america. oh, well. the major impetus for this title is the blatant paradox of a glowing dark continent. i'm writing this rather long explanation in order to dispel suscpicions that the title was born out of some subconscious racism. and also its 1am.

i could (and probably will) say much more about the odd shadow that africa manages to cast here in the puget sound, but i was actually hoping that this post could somehow segue into halloweeen. but alas, all i have left to say is, 'here are my halloweeen pictures!' #3 is my pumpkin.
3
45
3. Andrew David 'Jack' Seattle -- this is a pic of my coolest pumpkin ever
4. Andrew David 'Symbol' Seattle -- this is a pic of mari's brother's pumpkin
5. Andrew David 'Murder Is So Dreadful, But Someone Has To Do It' Seattle

and finally, because beth might not like #5, here's a cuter, less threatening pic:
6
6. Andrew David 'Beth XI' Seattle -- this is a pic of my coolest Queen Anne picture ever

nasty [1]

my neighbors are having a screaming match, and i don't think i've heard an adult this mad before. i'm a bit surprised, i thought passionate anger like this only happened on tv or in statistics. what a great way to celebrate thanksgiving early.

the first essence [2]

Here is the sixth poem from my unpublished anthology Poems Written in Brady's UCORE Notes at 3AMish ca 2001:

Command
Spread your wings
Not your legs

(i really have no anecdotes to share about this poem. looking back, i think it may have been too revolutionary, too cutting edge for a conservative christian arts journal like Second Essence.)

For more information concerning this poetry, please refer to my post entitled 'the first essence [1]'

animals and beer [1]

penguins in a bar-top congo line might be an okay beer commercial. especially if everyone else in the room seemed fairly ordinary. actually, i bet its been done before. if not penguins, than perhaps monkeys, mice, or some other photogenic critter. however, the good thing about penguins is that, even when drunk, they don't smoke or make much noise. elephants, on the otherhand, tend to light up at every opportunity. okay, maybe a foggy memory of Dumbo doesn't merit slander of the entire elephant kingdom (but it does feature a carousing scene with circus beasts sucking down cigarettes and beer, right?), but they definitely aren't beer commerical material. that's not to say that elephants don't appreciate a good drink -- they just don't fit too well in the local neighborhood pub. besides, rob, a visiting zimbabweeen, claims that elephants have plenty of alcohol on the open range; they don't need a lucrative contract from budweiser. apparently, there's an african fruit that can actually make elephants drunk...and it grows on trees! let the mass exodus to africa begin!

Alaska pics 4 (the end)

i'd love to hear feedback on any of these pictures or opinions on which, if any, to print & frame. however, many of these pics have been posted at beth's request for memory purposes rather than any aesthetic value. pictures with an '*' are currently under printing consideration. AND, BE GLAD; this is the final segment from alaska. oh, i'm especially having trouble deciding between glacier pictures...

123
456
789

1. Ramon or Susan David 'We Bring Greet from the North' Seward -- i think this pic has character.
*2. Andrew David 'At the Foot' Seward -- i can't decide which i like the best; i'd like to narrow it down to 1 or 2
*3. Andrew David 'Some of the Glacier' Seward -- there are no anchovies in this picture.
4. Ramon David 'Trail-worn Hikers' Seward -- beth and i.
*5. Andrew David 'Even Less of the Glacier' Seward -- like i said, i can't decide which of these pictures to like the best.
*6. Andrew David 'Vertically Speaking' Seward -- agg ximba.
7. Andrew David 'Moose!' Seward -- taken from long range from the back seat of the truck
*8. Andrew David 'Vertically Speaking II' Seward -- this particular formation reminds me of the fremont troll. i'm serious.
9. Ramon David 'PDA' Seward -- i wonder how long till someone asks me to remove this...

a crazy cool scriptural epiphany

okay, i was in the process of going to sleep (head on pillow, eyes clothes), when i suddenly had this thought--and i feel a somehow like the speaker in ts eliot's Journey of the Magi when he suddenly interrupts the poem's running narrative to emphatically exclaim: "...but set down/This set down/This: ...." so, like eliot's aging wiseman, i will (interrupt my narrative of sleep and) tumble toward some capital 't' truth without wasting time to quibble with words or style (ie i'm giving myself 2 more minutes to finish this)--in joel 2:32, acts 2:21, and romans 10:13 the writers proclaims that 'everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.' its one of the few verses that i can still remember (although i only remembered it once, not thrice). however, i have ALWAYS interrupted it in a rather straightforward manner, especially in terms of the 'from' phrase that seems to implicitly wait at the end of the verse. for example:

if you call when depressed, in need of strength for the day ahead, or desiring patience for that annoying co-worker, you will be saved.

if you call while being attacked by rabid coyotes and walruses, you will be saved (and then the theological question becomes, what does He mean by 'saved'?)

if you are being shadowed by the devil and his legions, you will be saved.

if you are burdened by your sins, you will be saved.

etc, etc, you will be saved.

these somewhat traditional applications of the verse(s) are certainly apt -- i'm sure i've used them all. but they also seem a little...irresponsible....as if the act of calling for salvation first requires shifting the focus of my insecurity or problems to someone or something else. 'save me from this!' or 'save me from that!' but what do i really need saving from? MYSELF! i know, this is certainly not profound, but i feel like its crazy cool. i can't believe i never thought of this. indeed, Lord, I'm calling upon you -- save me! save me from myself...

Alaska pics 3

i'd love to hear feedback on any of these pictures or opinions on which, if any, to print & frame. however, many of these pics have been posted at beth's request for memory purposes rather than any aesthetic value. pictures with an '*' are currently under printing consideration.

123
4 5 6
7 8

1. Andrew David 'Breakfast in Homer' Homer -- darrrrr for grey skies.
2. Andrew David 'Work is for People Who Don't Know How to Fish' Homer -- the vehicle of our fishin guide.
*3. Andrew David 'A 1000 Johahs' Homer -- i've got like 12 different versions of this shot. maybe one of them will materialize into something worthy of printing.
4. Andrew David 'Fish Family' Homer --
5. Andrew David 'Fish Face' Homer -- she's a fish, and she's holding a fish...go figure....
6. Andrew David 'Where are the heads?' Homer --
*7. Andrew David 'McKinley' Denali St Park -- again, i have a 12 dozen of these shots...
8. Andrew David 'Beth McKinley' Denali St Park -- i like posting this picture right beside the other one. give me props for that.