a blogging tutorial

i am told that as christianity struggles to remain relevant in a fast-paced, anything-goes culture, a new kind of church is rising from the empty pews of the mainline protestant denominations. it's a church that seeks to provoke thought and kiss off complacency. it's a postmodern or emergent church. the pastor may drink beer or vote democrat. the worshippers may sing hymns or play crashing guitars and accordions. and the church treasury may sign checks to support human rights groups, evangelists, or artists.

i happen to attend a church like this, and every winter we do our part to encourage the arts. members of the bethany community volunteer to teach classes to fellow church-goers or folks in the north seattle community. the classes--thai fusion cooking, card making, ts eliot poetry, digital photography, salsa dancing, cheese making, classical guitar, lectio divina, etc, etc, etc--are advertised throughout the community and occur in homes, coffeshops, and the church basement.

last year, beth the s.o. and mari (she doesn't yet have a 17 point scale deidentifying nickname) both taught several classes for the bethany arts college. this december they nobly approached me to see if i might also teach a class. i say nobly not because it's a strange funny-looking word but because my 2 year attendance at bethany community church has been nearly devoid of service. that is, i show up on sunday but give almost nothing of my time. i am a christian parasite (yikes!), and beth and mari's recruitment efforts may perhaps represent an unconscious attempt to reform me and precipitate some kind of evolutionary event in my soul.

"you could teach a class in blogging," they said.

besides my initial gut reaction--"that's nerdy"--and an overwhelming sense that a class on blogging would be very unfun, there would be something akin to hypocrisy if i were suddenly deemed master blogger. you see, here's what i would teach as the three most important keys to successful:

1. stay on topic. if you meander between discussions of books, sports, and religion, the bookworms, athletes, and clerics will usually look somewhere else for their blogging pleasure.
2. visit other blogs. post lots of comments on blogs that share a similar topic to your blog (notice that's a similar topic not similar topics). posting comments gives other surfers a link to follow back to your blog. and back-links are the secret to good position on google.
3. post briefly and post often. people will only return to your blog if they're confident that they can find new material.

now, how many of these tips do i follow? zero.

moreover, i am again considering a blogging hiatus. sean tells me this is a bad idea, but i'm worried that i spend to much time staring at my computer screen each evening. email, googling, blogging, uploading pictures to istock, checking sports scores....it's too much! and i haven't had much to say recently.

here are the last of my saskatchewan wedding photos.



unknown. "i'm too lazy to title these tonight, but that's nathan, andrew, beth, danny, and alison." shekinah, saskatchewan.

i would make a horrible wedding photographer

i'm proud to say that i have some fine photographs of mountains, lakes, sign posts, and grass. however, i'm not too handy with low light environments, sports events, or family portraits. i have a knack for seeing the world, but only if it's sitting silently in front of me. if a picture requires a flash or thoughtful consideration of f-stops and white balance, i'm screwed. and so, as you can see below, i don't make much of a wedding photographer (thus i'll try to hurry through these pics of danny's wedding), but i might make a great PI. that is, while i can't make people look good, i'm awfully talented at making them look goofy. in the end, that's fine though; even if my people pictures stink, they amuse me. take this series, for instance. it was supposed to be a romantic picture of danny and alison, but somehow that chap in the vest and violet ensemble steals the show. for some reason i just love how he progresses from thoughtful boredom to smiley, laughey, and, finally, clappy (sorry for the small thumbnails, you can either trust me on this one or open 'em up and check out zany violet man for yourself).


andrew david. "kissey, smiley, laughey, and clappy" shekinah ("the presence of God"--i just discovered this when i was googling to verify the town name; isn't that cool? danny and alison were married in the presence of God, saskatchewan.), saskatchewan.

a secret intermission [cont. 2]

okay, back to that sunset. believe it or not, we recently received an email from a reader with a bit of expertise in this field:

"i really like your sunset picture. did you shoot that on automatic (exposure)? Was that on your hike with Steve? Hope you feel better!"

okay, anyone with commen sense will wonder, 'how does a low budget blog like the 17 point scale have access to anyone with photography clout?' therefore, after making a thorough search of our archives, we uncovered the following information to support his credibilty (please pardon the picture; there is something shameful in using such a poor picture in a series of posts regarding photography. however, after clicking on the photo, you will note our informant's camera laying dormant beside him on the table. this is somehow relevant):


Name: confidential
Past Experience: Falcon Photographer http://thefalcononline.com/story/1684
Past Experience Caveat: the pictures on that link fail to illustrate the actual level of his work. they're just the best i could google in five minutes.
Training: star-pupil of the Director of Photography at World Vision
Training Caveat: photography aside, they deserve your money: http://www.worldvision.org/

In any case, the 17 point scale would like to issue the following statement in response to his query:

"I feel quite a bit better, maybe 91%. The photograph was indeed shot using automatic (exposure). It was shot in July of 2005 on the Kenai Peninsula. But there's something you should know about that photo..."

(if these cliffhangers are vexing, i'm sorry -- more on apologies later -- it just takes too long to write anything substantial. perhaps i should save info up and post in big fat bursts)