an apology

These pictures make me think of Christmas.
So, I'd like to apologize for posting Christmas pictures in October.


Now I'd like to apologize for what comes next: yet another apology. while i'm sorry that these pictures really having nothing to do with my post (or vice-a-versa), what comes next is a bit more convoluted. consider it living art. that is, i'm posting something that hasn't yet been written. with any luck, i'll return to it in a few days/weeks/months once i'm done studying. or i'll just let it rest here putrifying. yummm...

studying for the gre. for grad school. i'm a bit of an anomolie. don't particularly love any books or genre. aside: and this even-keeledness seems to spill over into pretty much everything. i don't like dirty dishes, stinky toilets, or .... but i'm content to let them be. maybe that's laziness. maybe i don't get excited mucy, but i'm a sucker for writing that tries to capture sideways glances back at itself. confessional poets. so when i say i'm a sucker, i don't mean i spend hours and hours fawning over dave eggers' confessional style -- and he does this on two levels: that of the plot and that of the manuscript itself or dusty's madman;s asides. but i certainly appreciate them. imagine you're driving along on your motorbike. so, if i were the literary craftsmen that i ought to be, i would have determined a tacit way of doing this. you would have got the message without me saying a specific word. yet, i would be invisibly self conscious. ah, what could have been. but this is an apology. and no matter what english teachers tell you, apologies need to be spoken, let into the light. so here's my list of things that i, the 17 opint scale ... apology.

1,while i'm addicted enough to endeavor to write daily, it just won't happen. and what i will write will be first draft quality. after all, its a blog, not a manuscript for ... and it will probably contain a lot of this. self-indulgent excuses. i'll try and make this an all encompassing apology however. fruthermore, i apparently have a tough time finishing serial style blogs. oh well.

2a i apologize if i ask you to read my blog and put you in the uncomfortable position of not saying 'you suck'
2b i apologize to people like stvs who are cursed with the inability to find diamonds in the literay rough (that is, find treasure in the crap that your friends write). i actually think that this is a lot of people. we don't sit around and pass stories around the campfire anymore, and i think we've lost the ability to tell stories and listen to stories. but actually, i'll recind that apology, because i doubt you would bother to wade through this far if this is you. and despite the fact that this is a blog (and therefore lacks the necessity of logic) and perhaps a bit wordy at times (bear with me, im studying forthe gre) i think i might say somethings particualry well at times. so hah.

3. most importantly, i apologize that these posts are neither diary entries of exciting events in my life nor carefully constructed papers on this or that. instead, they are first draft thoughts only...'

4 i apologize if i repeat myself.