Monday, April 03, 2006

beth says, "our brains are dead"

i'm back. after five months of brow-bruising studying, i have returned. the long winter of the literature gre has ended and easter is right around the corner.

everyone asks 'so how was it?' or 'how did you do?' that's like asking a pasty-white photodermatosic how to get to the beach. beyond saying 'try heading west' or 'ask that guy over, not him. the one in the blue speedo,' there's little else to say. in my case, (the beach is 20 blocks west on 85th; just follow it until you get to the water. and why am i wearing this speedo?) i expect a score somewhere in the upper 50th percentile. that means i anticipate a score that ranges anywhere from just a little worse than okay to AMAZING!

unfortunately, ETS isn't a fast-food chain. like the rest of the test-taking industry, their scan-tron machines were designed by 18th century comedians who thought that a six week turnaround might be a funny final blow to the likes of beth and me^.
so now begins the wait. ordinarily, this might prove quite troubling me, but after

170 dollars,
5 months of studying,
414 note cards,
470* authors,
and 782* works,

a six week waiting period seems like little more than a st. patty's day pinch. it'll be a breeze. after all, i have my new life to keep me company!

^ this sounds funny, but i'm pretty certain it's a 'me' rather than an 'i.' still, the 'i' would sound better...
* i randomly sampled a little under 11% of the 414 note cards (n=45) and found 85 works and 51 authors. the figures provided above are therefore only an extrapolation based upon this smaller sample...
! just to clarify, by 'new life' i don't mean a baby. i was just hoping to emphasize my new found freedom.